A couple of days ago, I posted a video about how my definition of success has changed dramatically since moving to the United States. The ~120-second Instagram reel did not do the subject justice, so I decided to write about it here.
The premise of the reel was very simple: what defined success in Nigeria when I was growing up no longer applies in America, in this age and time. Therefore, Millennials who emigrated from Nigeria need to reevaluate their definition of success and readjust accordingly.
As a side note, I wonder if there was a point in time in America when buying a house and having a car meant success? We all start from somewhere, be it a nation or an individual. That’s a thought for another post.
But back to the premise of my reel.
If you grew up in Nigeria in the early 90’s and 2000’s, and are familiar with the Nollywood films, you would agree that three or four main elements were used in the portrayal of wealthy chiefs in movies.
For a start, they wear massive traditional regalia, they live in a duplex aka “mansion”, get driven around in an SUV, and definitely have a housemaid that helps Madam in the kitchen and takes care of the kids. Pair those elements, and you can easily deduce that the character is wealthy. The inspiration for such wealthy characters is not far from reality; it’s as close a depiction as possible to what it meant to be wealthy during that era.
Needless to say that, growing up in that time, we all aspired to have an SUV with a full-time driver, live in a “mansion,” and have a full-time house help, because that to us meant wealth. I believe I speak for a decent number of people within my age bracket that this, to an extent, defined what it meant to be wealthy in Nigeria.
As our frontal lobe developed and we began to experience life, it became apparent that Nollywood skipped some crucial steps in the making of the “wealthy chief”: how did he make his money? Does he have a 9-5? Most of them seem to have businesses, clearing containers from the port and making calls to close business deals. It became obvious that my definition of the “wealthy chief” needs refinement.
For a start, my parents had a different idea of the path to getting to the mansion and SUV. The first and arguably the most important step in their process, according to our parents’ playbook, is to get a degree.
Whatever you do, you need a degree. Not just any degree; it has to be a medical degree. A law degree might suffice, but if you cannot achieve any of that, you should at least be able to become an Engineer. Education will make you rich; they know this because if they had the opportunities that I am being afforded, they would easily be running the “World Bank” - not my word.
Because Nigeria is a country with limited options, we fell in line with the playbook. Few became doctors, a decent number became lawyers, a significant number became engineers, and the rest of us remained “recalcitrants” to society, since we studied courses outside of the playbook. Courses like Human Anatomy & Physiology.
It turns out all parents had the same playbook, and the outcome was close to fatal, because after all the degrees, we couldn’t earn enough to afford the SUV.
The Playbook was wrong; it was not fit for purpose. We had to make our own playbook on the go. And from my point of view, that was the beginning of mass emigration from Nigeria- the Japa approach, as many would call it.
The idea is very simple: migrate to a top-tier country- that’s either the US, the UK, Canada, or Australia. Pursue "wealth” aggressively overseas and come back home as the Nollywood Chief.
For the most part, it’s easier to make money in those top-tier countries.
I take that back; it’s easier to sell your time for Money overseas. The downside is that you end up selling all your time to the point where you no longer have any time left actually to be the Chief you’ve always aspired to be.
For context, a large part of this article was written while I was waiting for my connecting flight in an airport in Philadelphia on a Saturday morning, on my return home from a work trip. That sometimes is what it takes to survive in America. In Nigeria, Saturdays are ideally for Owanbe. That’s where the Chief gets to display his opulence; on the flip side, I am displaying nothing but humility as I draft this article.
In America, a very capitalistic society, the ultimate goal is to have you leverage every single bit of time that your future self could spare. What that means in practical terms is to get into debt in an attempt to become the Chief. Banks will lend you several hundred thousand dollars to buy the “Mansion”, a couple of thousand to buy the “SUV”, and the driver part becomes accessible when you go back home.
My conclusion from the Instagram Reel is that the playbook we devised is broken, just like our parents’ playbook. It’s no longer fit for purpose, because we live in a society that forces you to create your own definition of success. Something far beyond your cultural identity.
Nigeria gave us a definition of success, our parents gave us their idea of the route towards it, and emigrating allowed us to achieve the Nigerian definition of success, but it also opened up a new can of worms.
Do I even want this anymore?
There is a significant mental shift that comes with answering that question genuinely. My initial definition of success is owning things; then it progressed to earning enough to own those things, but now it's more of owning myself, my time. The real question is what exactly did the Nollywood chief have? It was time.
Here is the kicker: are you still pursuing Nollywood’s definition of chief, or have you realized the playbook has changed, and there is a need to redefine success in your own terms? Not the definition given to you by your culture or your parents.